Disney World - Orlando, FL Travel

Eric: It's depressing getting old. I know I've changed because this place hasn't. Going to Walt Disney World as a kid was the highlight of my life up till that point. You know somebody at the Disney corporation is going, "ya know - if it works, don't fix it." It's like re-watching old movies that you thought were cool as a kid, then going, "what the hell was I thinking?"


When I was entering Disney World Park with my camera, I thought I would be finding all sorts of horrible examples of out-datedness that I could joyfully capture and expose to the world. (Being the jerk-off, liberal-minded northern Yankee that I am.) I was stumped. Other than some outrageous prices of food, I couldn't really find anything that showed these guys were out of touch. I had to use my imagination and photoshop to come up with my own examples.


The one thing I did find touching is a Haitian guy sweeping up around the Liberty Square area. We learned that he had a masters degree is psychology and was a school teacher back in Haiti. He showed us the scars of being tortured for political reasons and told us that he was EXTREMELY happy to be in America and appreciates the freedoms and rights he now receives. This guy was GRATEFUL to be sweeping the floors at the Disney Theme Parks, even though he's intellectually over-qualified to do most jobs in America.


At the same time he's explaining this to us, I noticed a Disney "celebrate America" parade was coming down the street, lined by fat white Americans with blank expressions on their faces. I have to admit, a pre-packaged Disney dose of fake Americana would also put me to sleep. I've certainly taken my civil liberties for granted. The world was brutally ironic at that moment. I had finally found something in the Disney Theme Parks that wasn't fake.

Dacrons do Orlando - Disney starts @ 2:56

Velma: There's so much I could say about Disney, Epcot, Universal and theme parks in general. First of all, I had fun. I brought my camera, took lots of pictures and got into the whole Magic Kingdom experience as much as a cynical middle-aged adult can. It's the Wonderful World of Disney!, a frosted-cupcake fantasy presided over by the ever-youthful Peter Pan, his winged fairy companion, Tinker Bell and-oh yeah, that damn Mouse.


As a kid, I saw all those Disney films: "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", the sappy "Bambi" and the wierdly frightening "Pinocchio", etc. But I never liked the Mouse or any of his pals. I preferred Warner Brothers/Looney Tunes. (What would a Chuck Jones World be like?) But, I digress...


Tickets are expensive, waits can be long--the rides themselves often shorter than the wait--and all the exits funnel you through gift shops stocked with overpriced theme-matched souvenirs. If you can ignore that, the over-priced food & drinks, the hordes of fat sunburned Mouse-capped tourists (that would be the Amercians) and their tired cranky kids, you can have fun! No, really!

Disney World entrance sign
So shut up and pay it!
Disney World finger checker
Be wary of the finger I.D. machine
Goofy gives the finger
go Goofy!
Phallic Magic Kingdom
Nothing phallic about it
Small World entrance
As you enter "It's A Small World" ride
Small World suicide
Velma couldn't take it anymore
Disney World holy hand grenade of Antioch
It's the holy hand grenade of Antioch!
Pirates of The Caribbean entrance sign
At least the wait wasn't too bad.

Hard Rock Cafe, Universal Studios

Hopefully you won't have to listen to Billy Joel.

Ft. Summit KOA

Our standard camping spot when making the pilgrimage to Orlando.

Website: Disney World
Address: 3111 World Drive, Orlando, FL
Phone: call anybody
GPS: N 28º 25.123' - W 81º 34.873'

28.418721, -81.581216