Songs by The Defectives
Eat Kitty Cats!
Kitty Cats.mp3  (2.6 meg)   View
the lyrics to We Eat Kitty Cats!
|This one made it to the Dr. Demento
show and one of his CD releases. Take "Fish Heads" and combine
it with "They're Going To Take Me Away!" and add some cat samples
and you'll get this song. We completely blew out our voices for
the last chorus. Cats sampled were: Paka, Neil & Chin-Chin. Man
weilding the chainsaw was performed by Larry "Knobs" Nobile.
On Mars.mp3   (2.9 meg)   View
the lyrics to Party On Mars!
|This sounds like The B-52's meets
Devo. (two of our favorite bands) Then take every cheesy sci-fi
martian reference and sample it. Samples included: Marvin the Martian
(most of the good quotes), War Of The Worlds, Carl Sagan & Arnold
Schwarzenneger (from Total Recall) ACTUAL HELIUM was used to record
the munchkin voices. (not some cheap digital effect, we almost
passed out during this recording!) On guitars are Dave Chubet and
Mike "The Rat" Jones. Dave Chubet wrote the music and Biks wrote
the words for this one. Complete with a cheesy organ!
I Got.mpg3   (2.7 meg) View the
lyrics to All I Got
|This is a song of cheap shots and
low blows between the sexes. Ezia Marrone and Biks belt out a song
AT each other. (Ezia and Biks broke up shortly after recording
this song) It sure ain't a love song! On guitars are Dave Chubet
and Mike "The Rat" Jones. Can you believe they actually were going
out at the time!
Means NO.mp3   (2.8 meg)   View
the lyrics to No Means NO!
|Johnny and Biks come up with a
million on reasons why you should say NO. (like offering to give
your grandmother a sponge bath) Biks plays electric guitar for
the first time on a recording. Dr. Demento played this one a few
times on his show. Listen for Johnnys signature "Bip Bippata BIP" quote.
| Ren & Stimpy
Download: Defectives*Ren & Stimpy.mpg3
|We loved Ren & Stimpy when it first
came out. (long before anyone knew who they were) We decided to
record a tribute to the little fellas. Includes ALL of the great
quotes from the original series strewn over a rockin' beat. This
song was the second most requested song for that year on the Dr.
Demento show. (the original "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song beat us
Jerky Boys.mp3   (1.3 meg)
|We were hoping to catch some noterity
off of the Jerky Boys when they first came out. We grabbed all
of their great quotes off of their first album and stuck them into
this song. This wasn't played on the Dr. Demento show, but was
in Boston on WBCN and some other college radio stations. (which
I have no idea on WHERE they got a copy of this song!)
Guys' Nuts!.mpg3   (2.0 meg)
|We decided to beat an old joke
into the ground. (Man shouting at another person running away: "THAT
GUYS' NUTS! GRAB 'EM!"*) This sounds like a Spike Jones record
on acid. Other than the title, this song contains no words or phrases
that make sense to ANYONE. Johnny does most the voices of an autistic
person, Ezia Marrone does the voices of the sexy autistic person.
* The joke explained: pronounced correctly, the phrase should mean: "That
person with the genitalia..GRAB THEM."
|A bunch of Monty Python samples
strewn over a funky riff. Stolen from The Barber Sketch and the
Dead Parrot sketch.
|We were trying out our new Digital
Performer 2.3 software, so this arose. We came up with a bunch
of riffs, then Greg Demina started improvising something about
physically loving his football. Of course we had to run with it.
(after wiping it off of course) Eric Bloom sings, Biks chants the "whoas",
and Johnny moans something about his baby in Depends diapers.
Download: Defectives*Free Song.mpg3
|We started to be concerned that
Eric Bloom was including the word "free" in too many of his songs.
We felt we needed to get it out of his system once and for all.
Thus, the Free Song is about how many times we can work the word "free" into
a song. Unfortunately, Eric still insists on using the word "free" in
much of his material.
Surgery.mpg3   (3.4 meg)
|Johnny and Biks created this backing
track late one night. Biks had to leave to get some sleep, so Johnny
continued with the vocals. The voice effect was done by recording
the 4-track machine at double speed.
Pee Wee Herman
Herman.mpg3   (2.6 meg)
|This song is a tribute to the final
days of Pee Wee Herman. The song is over-run with Pee Wee samples
taken out-of-context from his movies and his TV show. We had hoped
that Dr. Demento would play it, but apparently the Doc wouldn't
play ANYTHING relating to the Pee Wee Herman masturbation scandle.
(pro or con) We had gotten some airplay with this on Boston's WBCN
Sport.mpg3   (2.6 meg)
|What do you do when you've got
some backing tracks on your 8-track machine and no vocals? Give
Johnny a Sears catalog and have him let loose! Johnny gives a spirited
performance on the virtues of sporting goods. Biks just wants to
be let outta here.
Sluts.mpg3   (2.3 meg)
|Our first attempt at the miracle
of double tracking background vocals. Something from the early
days with our 4-track. What else can you do with Video Sluts but
just sit there and watch?
For A Rescue
|This is one of our "normal" songs.
Johnny and Biks just couldn't resist putting some "schtick" inside
the instrumental breaks. Geoff Briggs does the newscaster announcer
in the begining. The song is about a man who falls down his own
emotional well. (and gets stuck down there)
Who the hell are "The Defectives"?
The Defectives are basically John and Eric screwing around
with their MIDI equipment. Somehow we've never gotten around to making
heartfelt love songs about all the women in our lives, (even though Eric
has written a few malevolent ones about a some ex's) so we tend to make
silly ones like these.
Eric got the bright idea to send some of the goofier
ones to the nationally syndicated radio program called "Dr. Demento". The first one that got
lots of airplay was "Ren and Stimpy" It was basically a drum beat with
Ren and Stimpy samples thrown over it with us screaming "REN AND STIMPY!!" for
a chorus. It ended up being the second most request song for 1992. (The
original Ren and Stimpy "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song was number one and
Weird Al Yankovics "Smells Like Nirvana" was third. Imagine that, I beat
out the Elvis of novelty records on his own turf!)
Eric also got the bright idea to copyright his precious
song under the title, "Ren and Stimpy". Well guess what, the name popped-up on some
computer somewhere and the Nickelodeon network took offense to us using
the name "Ren and Stimpy" for a crappy novelty song! They sent us a 'cease
and desist' letter demanding to remove my copyright. Well folks, their
rack viral corporate lawyers could easily kick the butt of my scrawny
lawyer, so I quickly folded. Take a look at the letter they sent me if
you want to see what one of these looks like.
We sent Dr. Demento another
song called "We Eat Kitty Cats". It's kinda a cross
between Barnes and Barnes' "They're Coming To Take Me Away!" and "Dead Puppies
(Aren't Much Fun)". This one got on his fan club CD release and was played a
bunch of times on his show. Since we had it copywritten and registered with BMI,
we were entitled to some royalties for the airplay it received. Man I'm tellin'
ya, there's some serious money to be made in the songwriting biz. Just take a
look at my BMI statement from that quarter. I bet Paul McCartney would be impressed!
The entire song is online in MPEG form. It's a mono file that when decoded, turns
into a 14 meg file. (CD quality) If you don't have the hardware to play it back
in real time, you can get a software based decoder online someplace. (You mean
I gotta find the links for EVERYTHING?) :-)
We recorded some other
tunes and have basically gotten nowhere with them. (i.e. "Goodby
Pee-Wee Herman", "That Guy's Nuts", "Party On Mars", "The Jerky Boys" and "All
I Got") We've posted below the promo sheet that we did for them, so take a look
at 'em if you'd like. We'll eventually do some more stuff. At this point we just
got a CD-R burner, so we have the capabilities to make a disk of our stuff, so
if you have any interest in hearing more of this garbage, give us a shout on